Everyone makes a pretty details birth plan; all the wants and preferences for your birthing experience. This is all written down in your maternity notes, so when you can’t answer for yourself your wants are still met. All the books and professionals encourage you to complete a birth plan, I was told to but my preference for each scenario in case, plan A was not an option.
They are great, it really did give me peace of mind, that what I wanted was documented. What I was anxious about however, was what would happen after my baby was born. Now I will caveat this with, I am a planner, I like to know what is to happen at all times. My pregnancy books tended to all stop once baby was born. That’s great and all but what happens after, I have my baby and then what...???
Being a control freak (to the extreme) I wanted, no needed to know. Would I need to stop the night? Would I stay for just one night? Would/could my husband stay with me? All this and more raced through my mind as my pregnancy drew to a close. For my own sanity, I needed have my battle lines in order.
So, as we discussed my birth plan, my husband and I also talked about what would happen during my time in the hospital
Just husband and I during event - I didn’t want any one else in the room (except medical professionals of course!) the way I saw it was, my husband and I started this and we would finish it.
Told to shower straight after and eat all the tea and toast given - I didn’t know this would happen but my midwife was great and I am so glad she took charge immediately after the birth, whilst my baby was being weighed etc. Surprisingly, I didn’t mind the lack of control here!
No visitors in hospital - The last thing I would want to do after giving birth would be to entertain visitors. Immediately after giving birth was our time and I didn’t want to share that. There was a woman on the ward opposite me, who had a constant gathering of visitors, whilst they were quiet, I could tell she didn’t want to talk, she was exhausted, she had a c-section so what in a lot of pain and the last thing she wanted was 5/6 people coming in and out of her space. The best thing I did was keep it chill and just my husband. The last thing you want to do it share your hours old baby with other people. This is your time!
No visitors for 2 days - We also asked people to give us a couple of days, once home, to ourselves. We wanted time to bond with our baby, get used to being a 3 and I wanted some time to come to terms with my experience of giving birth and becoming a first time mother! People didn’t like this but we ensured lots of photos were sent instead.
Husband didn’t stay the night - Whilst he was allowed too, we decided that he would go home, for the night. This was purely for practical reasons because obviously both he and I wanted him to stay. At 9.30pm my husband went home, mainly because we would be coming home the next day and for safety we didn’t want a sleep deprived driver , driving our new precious cargo. He also sorted the house out, tidied bits away, popped to the shops to ensure we had what we needed, milk, tea, coffee and bread were the staples. He was back at 7am the next morning and let’s face it, no one would have wanted to sleep on the uncomfortable chair on a ward. It worked for us, because when we got home, the house was sorted and I could relax and sleep knowing my husband was solely focused on the baby and not dropping of too.
Now these things really worked for my husband and I. They may not be favourable for everyone, this is why I think it’s important to think about these things, I’d only for practical and mind calming reasons. Every couple is different and as the mama to be you need to think about your piece of mind so you can concentrate happily on your new baby!